I have continued and finished all my injections that lead up to my egg retrival. Glad that I waited until after school was out since I have been back and forth to Stanford numerous times over the past 9 days. Luckily my husband was able to come and drive me there as well. I am nervous, anxious, and excited but overall trying to remain calm and just go one day at a time. NOW this for me us a huge feat. I am a planner. I want to have all my ducks in a row, I believe that is the saying my mom uses with reguards to me regularly.  This process has been a huge test of patience and calmness. There is not a lot of information given to you and you feel a bit lost. It is not due to the lack of patient care in anyway. It is that the doctors and nurses don't want  you to stress and in all reality there are no knowns yet. How many eggs were retrived? What are the quality of the eggs that were retrived? How many fertilized? What day will the transfer be?

I find out this morning between 8am-9am how many of my eggs survived the night and were fertilized. My egg retrieval was yesterday morning and I am very sore. No bleeding and no major cramps. There are some cramps and definitely discomfort but nothing I can't live with. I will say I am walking a bit slower and it feels a bit reminiscent of my ileum resection.  I am not to workout for two weeks.When I find out this morning about the egg and fertilization status it will give me a better idea if there will be a day 3 or day 5 transfer. I only had 7 eggs retrieved. They want at least 6 eggs of good quality to do a day 5 transfer which is optimal. Day 5 transfer the eggs are considered  blastocysts and have a higher survival rate.  Day 3 transfer they have only divided 6-8 times. That being said the majority of IVF patients have a day 3 transfer. On a day 3 transfer they are likely to be more aggressive and put more eggs in than on day 5. We were told to consider whether we would want to be aggressive or conservative in our efforts. Which we did of course. I am ok with the idea of twins as long as it does effect the chance of a crohn's flare up. There are no promises but overall my doctor who is the head of the infertility department and whom has worked with numerous crohn's patients said there are not major concerns. All doctors would prefer a single baby. However, from what I have read it looks to be about 60% of all IVF patients end up with multiples. The problem with multiples is that there is likely a lower birth weight and commonly an earlier delivery. Of which both of those can have numerous consequences or be perfectly normal. You can opt to electively reduce the number of babies in the womb. This is not an easy process from what I have read and can lead to the loss of the other baby or babies.  There are those with religious and or moral beliefs as well. I am prepared to transfer two eggs either day 3 or day 5. If the doctor highly recommends to transfer more on day 3 (only) based on egg health or other I will consider it due to her knowledge and experience. I however do not want triplets nor can I afford them financially or emotionally. I am also very concerned on how that might effect my stress levels emotionally and physically  with the outcome of a flare up.

Waiting for the phone call....

Day 1 of cycle and Day 1 of injections

Of course with my life nothing comes alone. Generally things come in threes but I WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER NOT TO HAVE THREE BABIES. That being said, things come in threes often in my life, there are always exceptions. Currently my husband is graduating college with honors, I am ending my school year with my first graders, and WE are going through IVF. Today I rushed out of school for a 45 minute drive to meet my husband at the hospital for my first base line ultra sound. Being prodded with the magic ultra sound wand was mildly uncomfortable only because I was already experiencing cramping from my monthly cycle. Luckily I am not that easily embarrassed about the presence of my cycle with my doctors and yes my husband sitting reading over our legal rights.  He finds the stirrups very interesting and that of course was very far from my mind. Humor helps him deal with pretty much any circumstance. He is very funny and not only in my opinion.  My ovaries look good though there was a large black mass of liquid they believe next to my ovary but they came quickly and reassuringly to the conclusion that is was outside my ovary based on a December ultra sound. Yay.  I was told to begin my injections this evening and to come back on Sunday morning. Sunday being the day that my husband walks in his graduation ceremony. The ceremony he does not want to walk in and that I am forcing him to so that he won't regret it later in life. Super. Luckily I can go alone or my parents will be in town for the festivities and can escort me. I am the luckiest child in the world. I have lovely amazing parents but that is another long story for another blog.

Later that evening....While I sat reading all the materials about how to inject myself and mix the drugs I kept letting my mind wander like I was in high school algebra, of which I did have to take twice. Not to the lack of intelligence per se  but  to the lack of concentration I fault to hormones and young basketball players. My husband who really wanted to be here and to help me was at the airport in San Francisco picking up his family who was arriving from Ecuador. His brother has been in college there and had just graduated as well. Big week for his family and their two graduates.  So I was in this alone.  I made sure to take time the shots thirty minutes before he was expect home so that if I were to have some allergic reaction he could be there. Generally it takes a while to have a mild reaction, I was not leaving room for a major reaction. Finally I took out my half empty bottle of rubbing alcohol and used my nail polish removing pads and wiped down the kitchen counter, my hands, and tummy. I carefully organized my materials next to the instructions. Next I wiped bottles, opened cartridges, mixed, wiped again, and stuck myself. The initial stick was not painful. As I slowly, counting to five as instructed, eased the medicine in it became growingly achey.  One down and one to go. The next one came with a giant plastic pen looking devise to hide the needle? Same drill and a bit more painful this one was. It let a few poppy seed sized droplets of blood ooze out but that was the big event. For some reason I was waiting for the hormones to hit me like a ton of bricks and a curse word or tear would come to the surface. Nope.  My stomach is a bit sore but nothing that the pounding cramps I am currently feeling won't hide. Not sure if I can take anything for the cramps, better not. The baby aspirin I am to take each day to thin my blood and circulate the medicine will not put a dent in my cramps. Maybe the heating pad will aid me? Well, day one done.

Time for a change. Again....

With the change in seasons come many other changes. My school year is coming to an end. My students are as ready as I am.  The weather has finally turned from rainy and chilly (unseasonably so) to mid 80's and beautiful. My husband is graduating from college and ready for a career. He is graduating with honors in a double major. I am so proud. With all these changes many would take it all in and give time a chance to catch up. Not me, we have finally decided to proceed with IVF (in-vitro fertilization).  Of course we never go the easy route. The dates that were given did not match up with my husbands conference and my reentry to a new school year. So, we are fast tracking the process. We begin IVF the day after my last day of work and two days before I throw my husband his graduating party and he walks the following day.  Nothing like a bit of stress. I hope that I am not too hormonal for the festivities.

With the decision to go forward with IVF I need to make sure I am 100% healthy and doing all I can to maintain my health. Of course this is hard to do especially when you feel so great. I feel great which give less motivation to stay on the SCD diet and not cheat here and there.  For the most part I keep the staples as an ongoing part of my life. I make yogurt, sauerkraut, kimchee, kombucha, and don't eat sugar and wheat. With the exception of sprouted wheat on occasion.  I plan to go into this exception in detail soon.  I have really taken to fermentation of all sorts. I love fermented foods and so do my intestines.  As I ease back into my healthy diet and prepare for hopefully a child I wanted to blog about it to keep me honest. You will see exceptions in my diet. I have not been sick in over four years. I have been medication free for over a year.  I choose to slowly add whole foods to my diet that do not disrupt my system.  

With spring comes my favorite place on earth to go a Saturday morning at 8am, my local Farmers Market.  While strolling the aisles of the market on a sunny warm morning it is excruciating for me to pick and choose what to buy. I WANT EVERYTHING! This week I chose crisp green haricot vet green beans, tiny new potatoes, tiny cream and tan colored crimini mushrooms, half bright pink and white french radishes, thin emerald spears of asparagus, and beautiful dainty squash blossoms. This recipes includes these seemingly fragile squash blossoms. It is true that you need to use them as soon as possible. I used them with in 24 hours. I used female blossoms today. No prep other than to pull out the stigma, which if you gently tear one side of the blossom down evenly you will reveal the style inside the middle of the blossom. It is bright yellow and you can just pop it out.

8 squash blossom with attached baby zucchini

4-5 table spoons of got cheese ( can use ricotta or other cheese of choice)

3-4 mushrooms of choice I used miniature crimini 

pepper to taste

walnut oil or oil of choice (need enough to cover bottom of skillet or frying pan about an inch to two inches)

8 table spoons of garbonzo ( chickpea)  bean flour ( can use gluten free flour, wheat flour, or flour substitute of choice)

1 cup of water, beer, or milk

I mix the garbonzo bean flour and  water with a whisk. I let it sit and thicken but mix again briskly before I dunk my blossoms.

I cut the mushrooms us very small and put into a zip lock bag with the cheese and pepper. I push all the air out of the bag and seal. I snip the end off one bottom corner.  I use this to pipe the filling into the blossoms.  As I mentioned above I tear the blossom on one side all the way down. I hold open the petals and pipe in the filling about one tablespoon worth. I then wrap the petals around and squeeze gently. When you are done with all 8 blossoms you can refrigerate while you get the oil heating.

I fill my skillet with oil and bring it up to temperature.

 You can drop piece of bread or batter in and watch it sizzle without smoking to a golden brown. The oil if kept at medium heat should be good.  I dunk the blossom and squash in the batter and coat. Carefully drop into the skillet.

 Rotate every minute to minute and a half. You want all sides to brown and should take about 3 minutes total. I would do two to three at a time.  Take off and put on a cooling rack and sprinkle with salt.