I have continued and finished all my injections that lead up to my egg retrival. Glad that I waited until after school was out since I have been back and forth to Stanford numerous times over the past 9 days. Luckily my husband was able to come and drive me there as well. I am nervous, anxious, and excited but overall trying to remain calm and just go one day at a time. NOW this for me us a huge feat. I am a planner. I want to have all my ducks in a row, I believe that is the saying my mom uses with reguards to me regularly.  This process has been a huge test of patience and calmness. There is not a lot of information given to you and you feel a bit lost. It is not due to the lack of patient care in anyway. It is that the doctors and nurses don't want  you to stress and in all reality there are no knowns yet. How many eggs were retrived? What are the quality of the eggs that were retrived? How many fertilized? What day will the transfer be?

I find out this morning between 8am-9am how many of my eggs survived the night and were fertilized. My egg retrieval was yesterday morning and I am very sore. No bleeding and no major cramps. There are some cramps and definitely discomfort but nothing I can't live with. I will say I am walking a bit slower and it feels a bit reminiscent of my ileum resection.  I am not to workout for two weeks.When I find out this morning about the egg and fertilization status it will give me a better idea if there will be a day 3 or day 5 transfer. I only had 7 eggs retrieved. They want at least 6 eggs of good quality to do a day 5 transfer which is optimal. Day 5 transfer the eggs are considered  blastocysts and have a higher survival rate.  Day 3 transfer they have only divided 6-8 times. That being said the majority of IVF patients have a day 3 transfer. On a day 3 transfer they are likely to be more aggressive and put more eggs in than on day 5. We were told to consider whether we would want to be aggressive or conservative in our efforts. Which we did of course. I am ok with the idea of twins as long as it does effect the chance of a crohn's flare up. There are no promises but overall my doctor who is the head of the infertility department and whom has worked with numerous crohn's patients said there are not major concerns. All doctors would prefer a single baby. However, from what I have read it looks to be about 60% of all IVF patients end up with multiples. The problem with multiples is that there is likely a lower birth weight and commonly an earlier delivery. Of which both of those can have numerous consequences or be perfectly normal. You can opt to electively reduce the number of babies in the womb. This is not an easy process from what I have read and can lead to the loss of the other baby or babies.  There are those with religious and or moral beliefs as well. I am prepared to transfer two eggs either day 3 or day 5. If the doctor highly recommends to transfer more on day 3 (only) based on egg health or other I will consider it due to her knowledge and experience. I however do not want triplets nor can I afford them financially or emotionally. I am also very concerned on how that might effect my stress levels emotionally and physically  with the outcome of a flare up.

Waiting for the phone call....

Day 1 of cycle and Day 1 of injections

Of course with my life nothing comes alone. Generally things come in threes but I WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER NOT TO HAVE THREE BABIES. That being said, things come in threes often in my life, there are always exceptions. Currently my husband is graduating college with honors, I am ending my school year with my first graders, and WE are going through IVF. Today I rushed out of school for a 45 minute drive to meet my husband at the hospital for my first base line ultra sound. Being prodded with the magic ultra sound wand was mildly uncomfortable only because I was already experiencing cramping from my monthly cycle. Luckily I am not that easily embarrassed about the presence of my cycle with my doctors and yes my husband sitting reading over our legal rights.  He finds the stirrups very interesting and that of course was very far from my mind. Humor helps him deal with pretty much any circumstance. He is very funny and not only in my opinion.  My ovaries look good though there was a large black mass of liquid they believe next to my ovary but they came quickly and reassuringly to the conclusion that is was outside my ovary based on a December ultra sound. Yay.  I was told to begin my injections this evening and to come back on Sunday morning. Sunday being the day that my husband walks in his graduation ceremony. The ceremony he does not want to walk in and that I am forcing him to so that he won't regret it later in life. Super. Luckily I can go alone or my parents will be in town for the festivities and can escort me. I am the luckiest child in the world. I have lovely amazing parents but that is another long story for another blog.

Later that evening....While I sat reading all the materials about how to inject myself and mix the drugs I kept letting my mind wander like I was in high school algebra, of which I did have to take twice. Not to the lack of intelligence per se  but  to the lack of concentration I fault to hormones and young basketball players. My husband who really wanted to be here and to help me was at the airport in San Francisco picking up his family who was arriving from Ecuador. His brother has been in college there and had just graduated as well. Big week for his family and their two graduates.  So I was in this alone.  I made sure to take time the shots thirty minutes before he was expect home so that if I were to have some allergic reaction he could be there. Generally it takes a while to have a mild reaction, I was not leaving room for a major reaction. Finally I took out my half empty bottle of rubbing alcohol and used my nail polish removing pads and wiped down the kitchen counter, my hands, and tummy. I carefully organized my materials next to the instructions. Next I wiped bottles, opened cartridges, mixed, wiped again, and stuck myself. The initial stick was not painful. As I slowly, counting to five as instructed, eased the medicine in it became growingly achey.  One down and one to go. The next one came with a giant plastic pen looking devise to hide the needle? Same drill and a bit more painful this one was. It let a few poppy seed sized droplets of blood ooze out but that was the big event. For some reason I was waiting for the hormones to hit me like a ton of bricks and a curse word or tear would come to the surface. Nope.  My stomach is a bit sore but nothing that the pounding cramps I am currently feeling won't hide. Not sure if I can take anything for the cramps, better not. The baby aspirin I am to take each day to thin my blood and circulate the medicine will not put a dent in my cramps. Maybe the heating pad will aid me? Well, day one done.

Time for a change. Again....

With the change in seasons come many other changes. My school year is coming to an end. My students are as ready as I am.  The weather has finally turned from rainy and chilly (unseasonably so) to mid 80's and beautiful. My husband is graduating from college and ready for a career. He is graduating with honors in a double major. I am so proud. With all these changes many would take it all in and give time a chance to catch up. Not me, we have finally decided to proceed with IVF (in-vitro fertilization).  Of course we never go the easy route. The dates that were given did not match up with my husbands conference and my reentry to a new school year. So, we are fast tracking the process. We begin IVF the day after my last day of work and two days before I throw my husband his graduating party and he walks the following day.  Nothing like a bit of stress. I hope that I am not too hormonal for the festivities.

With the decision to go forward with IVF I need to make sure I am 100% healthy and doing all I can to maintain my health. Of course this is hard to do especially when you feel so great. I feel great which give less motivation to stay on the SCD diet and not cheat here and there.  For the most part I keep the staples as an ongoing part of my life. I make yogurt, sauerkraut, kimchee, kombucha, and don't eat sugar and wheat. With the exception of sprouted wheat on occasion.  I plan to go into this exception in detail soon.  I have really taken to fermentation of all sorts. I love fermented foods and so do my intestines.  As I ease back into my healthy diet and prepare for hopefully a child I wanted to blog about it to keep me honest. You will see exceptions in my diet. I have not been sick in over four years. I have been medication free for over a year.  I choose to slowly add whole foods to my diet that do not disrupt my system.  

With spring comes my favorite place on earth to go a Saturday morning at 8am, my local Farmers Market.  While strolling the aisles of the market on a sunny warm morning it is excruciating for me to pick and choose what to buy. I WANT EVERYTHING! This week I chose crisp green haricot vet green beans, tiny new potatoes, tiny cream and tan colored crimini mushrooms, half bright pink and white french radishes, thin emerald spears of asparagus, and beautiful dainty squash blossoms. This recipes includes these seemingly fragile squash blossoms. It is true that you need to use them as soon as possible. I used them with in 24 hours. I used female blossoms today. No prep other than to pull out the stigma, which if you gently tear one side of the blossom down evenly you will reveal the style inside the middle of the blossom. It is bright yellow and you can just pop it out.

8 squash blossom with attached baby zucchini

4-5 table spoons of got cheese ( can use ricotta or other cheese of choice)

3-4 mushrooms of choice I used miniature crimini 

pepper to taste

walnut oil or oil of choice (need enough to cover bottom of skillet or frying pan about an inch to two inches)

8 table spoons of garbonzo ( chickpea)  bean flour ( can use gluten free flour, wheat flour, or flour substitute of choice)

1 cup of water, beer, or milk

I mix the garbonzo bean flour and  water with a whisk. I let it sit and thicken but mix again briskly before I dunk my blossoms.

I cut the mushrooms us very small and put into a zip lock bag with the cheese and pepper. I push all the air out of the bag and seal. I snip the end off one bottom corner.  I use this to pipe the filling into the blossoms.  As I mentioned above I tear the blossom on one side all the way down. I hold open the petals and pipe in the filling about one tablespoon worth. I then wrap the petals around and squeeze gently. When you are done with all 8 blossoms you can refrigerate while you get the oil heating.

I fill my skillet with oil and bring it up to temperature.

 You can drop piece of bread or batter in and watch it sizzle without smoking to a golden brown. The oil if kept at medium heat should be good.  I dunk the blossom and squash in the batter and coat. Carefully drop into the skillet.

 Rotate every minute to minute and a half. You want all sides to brown and should take about 3 minutes total. I would do two to three at a time.  Take off and put on a cooling rack and sprinkle with salt.

How things change....

It has been a while since I have been able to blog. Beside teaching and living I also have gotten married. We have thrown back and for the idea of becoming pregnant. Which is a good thing but for those of us with Crohn's comes a bucket of concerns and planning is KEY.  I have been on 6MP for a long time now, 3 years I believe.  I have made the educated choice to go off my medication.  My doctor felt strongly that I stay on 6MP through my pregnancy.

Her reasons:

That I could loose the baby. The common flare ups occur 2-3months after conception or 2-3 months after birth.

If I have complications or infection I could loose the baby.

I would have to go on medications that could possible cause a miss carriage or loss of baby.

There focus is on the mother and her life not to save the baby first.

My reasons:

I do not believe that any medication is safe while pregnant if you can help it.

I have been on 6MP since my surgery and I have no idea if the medicine is keeping me from flare ups or if my diet, exercise, and over all health is keeping me from flare ups. 

I feel BREAST FEEDING is essential and if you can possibly do it you should. It helps with bonding, cancer prevention, helps to curb post pardon, and if I have to have these awfully huge breasts that have inhibited my athletic endurance for years I would like to find a real purpose for them.

My doctor always gives the darkest worst case scenario. She does this to cover her but also to make me think. After the initial shock and with reasoning I did a lot of research. I talked to my family and friends to make an educated and informed opinion. It does not effect only me but my husband, family, and friends that support me.

My doctor has agreed to stay as my physician even though we disagree about the 6MP. It is unethical for her to make me stay on a medication while pregnant. There is little evidence that 6MP hurts the baby but you cannot breast feed which is a not only an issue because I want to breast feed but also that it condenses in your breast milk and they advise not to. If that is the case why is it safe in vetro?  Also, all I read is that women ( the majority) feel the best they have ever felt when pregnant and some time after they give birth. 

So I have tapered my intake of 6MP to the point that now I am not longer on 6MP. I am now seeing my physician every month to be safe but feeling well. I am sticking to a diet of no wheat, no sugar, and lots of home made yogurt and pro biotic cabbage.  I eat whole foods that are local and organic. I have also added live fruit and veggie smoothies.

I have tried now to get pregnant for three months. I wanted to get pregnant during the honeymoon phase of going off 6MP so I can move straight into pregnancy where by body ( hopefully) is more concerned about caring for a baby that attacking me.  Not pregnant yet. If it is meant to be it will happen.  

Otherwise I am happy I feel healthy. Happy to be married. Happy it is summer.

We all need to hope that a democrat becomes the next president.

Living with Crohn's disease means may things and has it's many challenges. One of the largest is that getting health care is difficult. Having to pre-disclosed your disease means if you are looking for independent insurance you are likely out of luck. Luckily I am a teacher and get coverage regardless. I am so happy for this and thank my lucky stars each day. However, I am also a prisoner of my disease in the fact that I can not stray from my job as a teacher. There are hopes and dreams I hold inside for the future that might not include teaching. That dream becomes a bit brighter if what we are hearing from the current democratic candidates platforms for health care is truth. Regardless if it is an all encompassing health care program by Hillary or a affordable program that anyone can obtain but is not required by Obama. The fact that rings out to me is that insurance companies can not DENIE me insurance because I was unfortunate enough to have Crohn's disease.

The power of yogurt.

Since I have been trying to get back on track I of-course started with yogurt. I still and will always (hopefully) believe that yogurt is where to start. I order some more pro-biotic starter and am being religious about eating it. I have been trying something new though. I have two big spoon fulls of yogurt each morning, afternoon, and before I go to bed. I have been feeling full, slightly uncomfortable and just not right. I think that having the good stuff in my intestines to help process that bad can only help. I actually feel much better, lighter, and have more energy.

The other thing I have started was taking COD LIVER FISH OIL. I have read nothing but fabulous things about it. I thought if could not hurt. In fact the company that manufactures the brand I am currently taking (Nordic Naturals) was catapulted out of doctors offices in the US and into the main stream health food store by a patient with Crohn's disease nudging the owner to market in a greater market. I know it is a great source of vitamin D and calcium. You need these two paired to absorb calcium. My understanding is that since the vitamin D and calcium are coming from a natural source and not manufactured your body can more easily absorb it. I am still researching it, however. I have read that it helps the synapse in your brain fire more rapidly. It is a natural blood thinner and there for good for your heart ( please beware i f you are on blood thinners). It is good for your hair, skin, and nails.

In pregnancy it may lower the risk of diabetes. While breast feeding vitamin A found in cod liver oil helps developing brains and may help prevent infection.

This is just what I have read. There are things to consider. Looking to see if the brand you are interested in routinely checks the levels of toxins that can be found in the fish such as PCP's and mercury is important. Checking for heavy metals is important as well. I would always check with my physician before starting something new incase it reacts with one of my medications. My doctors rarely believes in supplements but I am more concerned to know if she thinks it can harm me. In this case no.

Cream of Artichoke Soup


(Original from Fournou’s Ovens in San Francisco, modified for me)

10 Servings

2 large artichokes (I buy the bag of steamed artichokes at trader Joes in the frozen section, yummy and cheap, no preservatives or additives)
8 cups chicken stock
½ cup hazelnuts
¾ cup rice flour (preferred 2/4 and you could get away with ¼ depending on how thick you want it.)
1 cup whipping cream (I believe in raw milk products, if you want you can choose not to add cream or raw.)
Salt & Pepper

Remove all leaves, stem & choke from the artichokes and discard, reserving bottoms only. Poach in water to cover for one hour. If you are using the Trader Joes pre-cooked, bring to a boil and turn off. Cover and let sit until you are ready for them. Remove with slotted spoon and add to large saucepan with six cups chicken stock.

Preheat over to 300 degrees F. Spread nuts in small baking pan and toast for 10 minutes, (I toasted for 20 minutes) Cool nuts slightly, then rub in towel to completely remove brown skins. Hey, if there are a few skins, no biggie. Return nuts to oven and toast until golden brown, about 10 minutes longer. Remove from oven and crush to a fine consistency. You can also process them in your food processor but either way do it to a very small consistent size. Add to artichoke bottoms and stock and simmer thirty minutes. Puree in blender, processor or food mill and return to pan.

Gradually add rice flour to remaining two cups stock and stir until smooth. Add to soup, place over high heat and whisk until it comes to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer 15 minutes, stirring frequently. Add cram and season with salt and pepper. Blend in sherry just before serving.